Why not choose the better story?
You've heard of Hagar, Sarah's handmaid? Let me reintroduce you with two imagined versions of her story.
“So tell me, since it makes no factual difference to you and you can't prove the question either way, which story do you prefer? Which is the better story … ”
― Yann Martel, The Life of Pi
After last week’s post, in which I wrote
“… as poets and dreamers we need to usher in new stories to revise or replace the ones that are no longer working and that will ruin us if we keep clinging to them, unquestioned.” –Tzivia Gover, The Life of H: Sarah, Reimagined
a reader asked:
Which stories do you believe we need to revise or replace? … and why are they no longer working?
Good questions.
Why not begin with the stories that hurt you and make you feel guilty, wrong, or bad?
Like this one, for example:
The story of Sarah and Hagar is traditionally handed down as one of an oppressive mistress (Sarah) behaving with cruelty to her victimized handmaid (Hagar).
Twice Sarah’s harsh treatment of her handmaid sends Hagar to the desert to perish — first alone, and then with her son.
We are led to believe that Sarah behaved this way in the first instance because she was jealous, and the second time, inexplicably, after seeing their sons, Isaac and Ishmael, playing.
Based on this interpretation, it’s easy to condemn Sarah as the cold-hearted wife of the noble patriarch, and Hagar as a helpless victim.
We could even conclude that the conflicts between Hagar’s descendants and Sarah’s (the Muslims and the Jews) could be traced back to what amounts to a catfight between a petty wife and her servant.
Haven’t we seen this before: An origin story based on the bad behavior and misguided choices of women?
But look again.
One flashing neon sign that we might be on the wrong track is this:
God seems to be on the side of both of the women in this story.
He orders Abraham to listen to Sarah regarding Hagar.
And He responds to Hagar’s cries in the desert (twice) and (twice) intervenes on her behalf.
In fact, not only does God address Hagar directly, but Hagar is so intimate with the deity that she gives him a name (and she is the only player in this story, or in the entire Bible, as far as I can tell, to do so).
Maybe these women are more than they at first seem.
Today’s Poem
“She Raised Her Eyes to Mine,” today’s poem, is one of many possibilities for how Sarah and Hagar’s relationship might have developed.
In it, I imagine Sarah and Hagar’s first encounter with one another when Sarah arrives in Egypt with Abraham to escape famine.
Sarah, a high priestess, enters King Abimelach’s palace under the pretense of being Abraham’s sister and is taken in as Abimelech’s consort or concubine.
The young Egyptian woman who is charged with taking care of Sarah turns out to be much more than just a humble servant.
Listen in as the story unfolds in a narrative poem:
©️ “She Raised Her Eyes to Mine,” by Tzivia Gover, Copyright Tzivia Gover, Third House Moon, LLC, all rights reserved.
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Here’s another possibility for how Sarah and Hagar’s story might have unfolded1:
Imagine:
Hagar, a minor priestess in her own right, who served in the court of King Abimelech in Egypt, meets Sarah, a legendary priestess, when she and her husband travel to Egypt to find sustenance during a famine.
Hagar attends to Sarah in the King’s court, after Sarah has been taken in as the King’s consort.
When Sarah is released, Hagar joins Sarah’s household under a contract that makes her Sarah’s handmaid and she returns to Hebron with Sarah and Abraham.
Living far from their respective homelands (Sarah from Ur in Mesopotamia and Hagar from Egypt) the two women bond, and come to recognize and respect their complementary spiritual knowledge and wisdom.
Over the next ten years, Hagar, who is younger than Sarah, and of a lower rank, looks to Sarah as a mentor. Sarah in turn, develops a deepening affection for Hagar as a disciple and a friend.
Eventually, Hagar bears an heir for Sarah, as part of her contractual duty as a handmaid, and a lesser priestess in Sarah’s household. The two women raise their son together according to what’s customary in their situation.
Their relationship continues to develop as they live, pray, parent, and practice as priestesses together while trying to survive in a desert encampment.
But when Sarah, a high priestess who, according to her religious position, would not have been permitted to bear her own child, follows a new calling and becomes pregnant—the harmony between the two women is challenged.
The dilemma of which son should be her heir, pits Sarah and Hagar against each other. They undergo a crisis of friendship, trust, and belief.
Then, with a stroke of wisdom that would one day inspire Solomon’s own, Sarah agrees to release Hagar from her contract. Now Hagar can raise her own son, rather than turn him over to Sarah. Eventually, she is able to help choose a wife for him from her own culture and sustain her lineage.
Does this sound far-fetched?
At first glance, I’m sure it does, but bear with me.
This alternative narrative is based on re-reading the story from the perspective of the female characters and is inspired by scholarly research by Savina J. Teubal in her books Sarah the Priestess and Hagar the Egyptian, and reading the works of biblical scholars and teachers of various faith traditions.
And even if this story is far-fetched, is it any more implausible than the one written down centuries after the legends of Sarah and Hagar had been passed along orally through many generations?
Biblical scholars and sages have had to twist themselves into pretzels to connect the dots in a text that contains repetitive storylines, internal contradictions, and facts such as the ages of the protagonists and timelines that don’t add up.
So, why not entertain the possibility that there is a better story here, whose ending and moral could support and sustain us today, rather than pit one group against one another?
✨Told this way, this is a story of two women at a crossroads in history when worship of the divine feminine was being replaced by the exclusive worship of a masculine, warlike god.
✨ Told this way, this is a story of a developing friendship between women who embark on a quest to preserve their spiritual and cultural lineages.
✨ Told this way, this is a story of increasing (though still imperfect) liberation and equality, and offers a model for adapting to changing circumstances with innovation and creativity.
I choose the version about women’s empowerment, creativity, and spiritual evolution.
Because why not choose the better story?
Your turn: Write the better story
Pick up your pen and write with me
Stories from the Shadows: A Writing Workshop to Give Voice to Unvoiced Characters
Slip between the lines of familiar myths, fairy tales, or iconic stories from popular culture to find characters who have something to say, but haven’t had a chance to say it. Saturday, October 28th, 9:30 a.m. – 12:30 p.m. US Eastern time. Hybrid: in-person/online with Writers in Progress Studio, Florence, MA. $75
If you would like to receive a paid membership and support this publication, but the price is out of range for you, CLICK HERE for the ‘Pay-what-you-can’ option.
The alternative narrative I’ve presented relies heavily on my research, especially Savina J. Teubal’s books Sarah the Priestess and Hagar the Egyptian, as well as other sources from a variety of faith traditions, and my own imagination.